Godsgrace Nzewi

Inferiority complex, superiority complex, humility

A painting of a standing horse
What we want to attain is confident humility | Image source: Džoko Stach

We become blinded by arrogance when we’re utterly convinced of our strengths and our strategies. We get paralyzed by doubt when we lack conviction in both. We can be consumed by an inferiority complex when we know the right method but feel uncertain about our ability to execute it. What we want to attain is confident humility: having faith in our capability while appreciating that we may not have the right solution or even be addressing the right problem. That gives us enough doubt to reexamine our old knowledge and enough confidence to pursue new insights.

Adam Grant, Think Again

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Civility

Judge less; you’re no better than anyone
Judge less; you’re no better than anyone | Photo source: Freepik

One attitude you may never master is that of not judging or condeming other people. You do well at it in a situation, you find yourself falling short in another.

But you can always apologize.

Yes, when you find yourself going extremes on people, be sorry and say and show that you’re sorry— because you’re only different from them; you’re no better than anyone.

And this doesn’t mean you don’t rebuke or correct wrongs. It rather means that when you rebuke or correct, you do so with an attitude to help — not to vilify or belittle anyone.

Remember, you’re only different from people — and not better than anybody.

Be civil. And judge less.

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love must tried
Love must be tried | Photo by Tachina Lee on Unsplash

You don’t need an Adamic nature to be tempted.

Jesus wasn’t depraved, yet, as a human, he was tempted.

Eve (the first female human) wasn’t originally depraved, yet, at sinless Eden, she was tempted.

As an archangel in sin-free Heaven, Lucifer wasn’t depraved, yet he tempted himself and other angels with him.

You know why?

Being tempted is inherent in love: Love must be tried. No need for depravity.

“There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.” (1 Corinthians 10:13, KJV)

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Just-wedded couples in wedding couples folding their hands together to make a heart shape
“if you live in a society that is almost completely permissive about divorce, honoring your marital vows does reflect on you.” | Photo source: Takmeomeo

“[C]hoices have expressive functions only to the extent that we can make them freely. For example, consider the marital vow to stay together “for better for worse,…till death do us part.” If you have no way to get out of a marriage, marital commitment is not a statement about you; it’s a statement about society. If divorce is legal, but the social and religious sanctions against it are so powerful that anyone who leaves a marriage becomes a pariah, your marital commitment again says more about society than it does about you. But if you live in a society that is almost completely permissive about divorce, honoring your marital vows does reflect on you.”

— Barry Schwartz, The Paradox of Choice: Why More Is Less

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“Pinpointing what you love to do without working is like trying to choose a spouse based only on their Tinder profile” | Photo source: Peggy_Marco

“Learning by doing is the best way to discover work you find meaningful. The advice to “follow your passion” assumes you know your passion (and that you can easily make a living pursuing it). Pinpointing what you love to do without working is like trying to choose a spouse based only on their Tinder profile.”

Liz Fosslien and Mollie West Duffy, No Hard Feelings: The Secret Power of Embracing Emotions

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